Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Big Dreams

Ever think sometimes that it's possible to dream too big?

You know, when reality couldn't possibly compare to the vision in your mind.

Like when you make vacation plans.  In your imagination it includes white sandy beaches covered in glistening sea shells but when you arrive you find coarse rock-like sand and clumps of dead, black seaweed. The hotel you envision to be almost 5 star, with mints left on the pillows really turns out to be a ram shackled Motel 6 with a broken ice maker and a bed you wouldn't dare lie on.

Or maybe being 10 years old and going to an amusement park that you've been anticipating forever only to discover that you're too short for the best rides and get stuck on the kiddie rides holding on to snot covered handles.

Some days, it feels like life in general is a lot like dreaming too big.

Mostly, its little things like trying a recipe that looks wonderful only to taste it and find it inedible. Finding the perfect shoes and having the store clerk inform you that they don't have your size. Choosing the most decadent dessert from the menu after dinner and having the waitress tell you they are out of that selection but how about some vanilla ice cream.  Stuff that in the grand scheme of things doesn't really matter at all.

BUT...every now and then it happens with something monumental and life altering like being a parent.  You get these little people and you're thinking I can do this. How hard can it be?  You feed them and love them and spend the rest of your life wondering if someone else could have done a better job.

Am I dreaming too big? Wanting too much? Expecting things that will only leave me bracing for hurt and dissappointment? I wish I knew!

1 comment:

  1. In about 20 years you will find your answer...When your children have children, you can look back and HOPEFULLY pat yourself on the back and then thank God they turned out to be pretty good adults. And if not, you still gave them all you could......You will have hurt and disappointment but you will also experience great joy and pride; such is life lessons on being a parent.