Saturday, March 31, 2012

The First 14 Years of Forever

We chose a date. April 1, 1998. April Fool's Day.

Still appropriate. We make each other laugh.

My head knows the moon has always been perched in the sky. My heart tells me you hung it there especially for me the day we met (June 26, 1997, I remember).

Our family laughs at our clothing optional bedroom picnics 14 years into our marriage. We just giggle.

Both our hands reach towards the others' when we walk side by side. Instinctively.

You gave me my first house early in our marriage and we made it a home. Together.

We learned a lot about each other in that home. We faced fears and uncertainties but I never felt like I wasn't with the person who made my world whole. We learned that we were stronger. Together.

We raised OUR children. We made mistakes. We're still learning that each one is different and wonderful. Only one to go. Super heroes are made of that kinda stuff.

You keep me from sinking when the darkness bubbles from places that I don't understand.

You reach for me in your sleep like you've been doing if far longer than 14 years.

You know, without looking at me, which movies, tv shows, songs, cards, commercials, heck just about anything, are making me cry. I think you know, before I do.

We've held each other during the loses of people that we thought would crush us. And we just kept breathing. Together.

Grandchildren! We have grandbabies!

We have big plans for our future. I have no doubts that we will make them happen.

There is a contentment when we're together and an  anticipation when we're apart. I expected that to fade sometime during the last decade, but I'm overjoyed that it hasn't.

As we make our way to our happily ever after, loving and learning each step of the way,  I hope that you always know that you carry as much of my heart and soul with you as I carry with me.

Happy Anniversary Sweetie!

Monday, March 26, 2012

Dents and Scratches

About a year ago I got an offer from Groupon for a microdermabrasion at a spa more than a little ways away from our home. It was a good deal and my sweetie offered to chauffeur me so I paid for it and promptly moved it to the back burner of my brain.

As I've mentioned in previous posts my first marriage put a few dents and some pretty deep scratches in my self esteem and even though I've completely moved on from that phase of my life when I look in the mirror those leftover scars are still there. I'm mostly able to cover them but every now and then.....

Anyway as the expiration date crept up I figured it would go unused like the many pair of shoes that I HAD TO HAVE (then never wore) or that perfect dress that I bought (then wore once to find it didn't fit perfectly). If it weren't for the MANY reminder emails, that's exactly what would have happened but my husband is not as wasteful as I am so he scheduled the appointment.

I went to the spa, it was pleasant enough but they couldn't do the procedure that I had paid for with my Groupon because my skin type would have broken out like a teenage girl plowing thorough puberty. My body sometimes forgets that I am 40 something and should be WAY past the acne stage of life. Instead the esthetician (fancy word for facial lady) decided I would enjoy an oxygen facial. Basically they forced vitamins into my pores with oxygen. It was nice but what she said next set the stage to start repairing the damage that my self esteem has carried for so long.

She could make my skin smooth (something I haven't seen since I was about 12 years old). SIGN ME UP!! I scheduled a follow up appointment and left. In the car on the hour drive home I cried. Not breath-taking sobs, just a cleansing stream of tears that for anybody that knows me was inevitable.

This past Saturday, which should be mentioned was also my step-brothers wedding day, I went back to the spa for a chemical peel. A drive that should have taken about an hour, took me almost two because I am directionally challenged and can't read a map to save my life. Luckily I gave my self enough time to allow for my several detours and U-turns. I arrived at the spa with 10 minutes to spare. The procedure took about an hour and I left with instructions to leave the chemical on my face about 8 hours then remove it gently with water. Anyone who's been to a wedding knows it can last several hours and the 8 hour mark passed with the chemical still on my face (covered with make up, of course).

I really don't know how long it was left on past the recommended time but my face now looks like I either A. was a guest at Chernobyl or B. was left adrift a raft on the ocean for 3 days. To say it's RED is an understatement and now on the 2nd day since the procedure it is starting to peel (hence the chemical "peel" part of the process).

I'm a flaky, itchy mess. BUT, underneath it I am beautiful. I know that because my husband tells me so, every chance he gets.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Headaches 101

So thanks to some new laws here in the great state of Florida, my primary care physician AKA Dr. Awesome can no longer write my prescription for the ONLY migraine medicine that works because...wait for contains crack. Okay not really, it does however contain codeine. I tried the kind without the special ingredient for about a month now and my headaches are kicking my ass.

Enter Dr. Ahhmazing. He is a pain management doctor, who is allowed to write prescriptions for medication that work. Suck it law makers!!

Anyway, as it would be a little awkward to stroll into any physicians office and say "I'm only here to get you to write my a prescriptions for the medicine that my other doctor can't." I sat down and answered all 495408 of his questions.

Is the pain sharp, stabbing, dull, one sided, ice pick-like (yes, really)? What makes it better? What makes it worse (besides having to see 2 different doctors to get the medicines that work, I'm not bitter or anything)? How long have you had them? Have you tried this, this, this, this, this, this or this medicine? How about occipital (I know that has something to do with my eyes) INJECTIONS??? Ummm, no thank you!

Here hop up here on this crinkly paper. Squeeze my fingers (soooo not the same as pull my finger!). Push my hands. Then he covers my ears and presses on the space where my skull attaches to my spine. Did I mention he covered my ears? I saw his lips move but don't have a clue what he was asking me. It didn't hurt so I took for granted that the correct answer was no.

We have many options he tells me.


Apparently that isn't how this particular visit was gonna work.

But hey, he offered Botox. Says it works like a charm on  chronic migraines and the side effect of no wrinkles is definitely a bonus but it has to be administered with a SYRINGE. I've looked up every definition of syringe and every one includes a NEEDLE. IN MY FACE!!! I politely declined that option.

We're (and by we're, I mean I) am now taking an anti-seizure medication that's side effect is decreasing headache frequency. Also weight loss, which I am totally okay with.

And I did get a small prescription for the medicine that I originally went there for.

I have a follow up appointment in 4 weeks where we will discuss other options and I will give the verdict on my opinion of how the anti-seizure medicine is working.

Dr. Ahhmazing is super cute so I'm okay with seeing him again as long as he doesn't suggest any treatment that has to be administered by injection IN MY FACE.