Thursday, September 9, 2010


There are days that I struggle just to get out of bed.  I'm happy there. Snug and warm with my sweetie reaching for me in his sleep.  I know that I have responsibilities and people that depend on me to be certain places or do certain things.  Maybe it's the shame of letting those people down that forces my feet to touch the floor everyday.  I'm smothered by expectations that aren't really in proportions to be all consuming.  I can't figure out why I let it happen and I am letting it happen.

Some days I could scream at the top of my lungs and cry until I can't catch my breath.  Then there is the guilt! It nags at me, telling me my little complications in life are nothing in comparison to what some people face everyday.  It's all relative I suppose.  I want to be everything to everyone.  I want to scrutinize every paper that the school sends home.   I want to call and talk to everyone who is important to me everyday. I want to not be stressed out when curve balls come my way. Most days I don't get any of the things I want.

I tell myself don't sweat the small stuff but then the small stuff gets big, like someone I love going into the hospital.

If I needed perspective, THAT'S IT!

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