Thursday, September 2, 2010

It's not hard to drive me crazy, I'm already there.

I hate driving! I love to ride but I just never learned to like driving.  It's convenient and all but it stresses me out. Back in the olden days when I was 16 and getting my learners' permit I was anxious to learn to drive but it didn't take me long to realize it's really just a giant pain in the ass. I like enjoying the scenery not watching what the idiot on his cell phone heading at me is doing. You can't do both!

This morning I ran over a raccoon. There was no room to drive around it (I swear it was the size of a small elephant). I heard it *thwump* under my tire. I almost had to pull over and throw up. It was already dead when I ran over it but all I could picture was sad baby raccoons watching from the safety of the roadside greenery while I made their mother or father flat.  I called my always sympathetic husband to tell him what I did and his response was that I helped the vultures get to the guts easier. That's a visual that made me feel a whole lot better. Obviously I'm not married to Jack Hanna!  Just in case you're interested though, the body was gone on my way home from work so it was either a very hungry bird or an overzealous city worker.  Actually, where the murder occurred was pretty close to a house where I'm fairly sure rednecks live so it might be on someones dinner table tonight covered in gravy and accompanying mashed potatoes.

Anyway.  I'll be more careful tomorrow, I wouldn't want to single handedly cause Florida's young wildlife to become orphans. Next time I may not be so lucky as to run over an already dead rodent. That is lucky right?

1 comment:

  1. It's ok. Jenny Spires has a penchant for running into birds or making them commit vehicular suicide.