Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Not my choice

I really never gave much thought to my boys falling in love and getting married or *shudder* having children. But now that one of them is old enough to do all of those things I'm freaking out a little lot.  You never know which girl will be the one. Which girlfriend will become more than just a girlfriend. Maybe one that he will want to spend the rest of his life with. Yes, I know he's much too young to even consider anything that could become his future.  But I wasn't much older than him when I got married and I know that it's a possibility.

Until the last year or so he had a lot of friends that were girls but not too many girlfriends.  He had dates to school dances and girls that hung out with him and his group of friends.  But about 5 months ago he met someone who fit into our family so perfectly that I was hoping it would be a long (ish) term relationship.  Without too many details that may embarrass her, she is bright with a very promising future and she is pretty. Maybe I liked her more that he did. I don't know. I was sad when he decided they weren't going to date anymore. She's the kind of young woman that I want him to be with.  The kind that will make him happy.

In the last couple of days he has introduced me to a girl that he works with.  I'm not sure they're dating but I do know there is something there. I'm kinda ashamed to admit that I can't make myself like her.  I'm sure she's nice enough but she's not the kind of girl that I can see him spending any length of time with. I've told myself several times over the last few days that it's not my decision to make. That she may be the one that he falls in love with. I feel horrible that I hope she's not.  What kind of mother is more worried about whether she likes her sons girlfriend than how much he cares for her? Sadly, I am. And I hate that I feel that way! 

1 comment:

  1. I don't think it's so horrible to think that way. I even do it with friends & relatives. I think it's normal to want happiness for those you care about. What makes Chris happy NOW may not be what's best in the long run. We've all had relationships that we thought were fantastic & then reality set in & we wonder "What the hell was I thinking?!!" Anyway, just my 2 cents.