Monday, December 13, 2010

A Good Decision

Sometimes it amazes me how different my sweetie and I are yet how in love we've stayed over the last 14 years.

Nick was so tiny when we met. He was as much his baby as he was mine. Had he been just a tiny bit older, I may have teetered a little harder towards having a baby with my sweetie. Even now I can imagine what our sweet baby girl (yes, I'm sure it would have been a girl) would have looked like. We wouldn't have loved her any differently than his girls or my boys. She would have absolutely been the best of both of us.

In hindsight, it was genius that we decided 5 kids was more than enough. And that we took the appropriate measures to insure that I wouldn't change my baby lovin' mind. Seriously, we conceivably (total pun intended) could have had a half a dozen more kids. We also probably would have killed each other by now.

I'm not sure we could have ever have agreed on how to raise her. Maybe she would have felt removed from my boys or his girls. Or maybe she would have just been one of our six children. There are times when I wish I had waited to make the life changing decision to not have any children together. My choice may have  been different had I waited.

There are times when I miss her, the little girl that may have been. Our decision was the right one, made at the time for the right reasons. But oh, what could have been.....

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