Faith

I think most people do things without really knowing why they do them.

I've never been really religious. Sure I have faith and God knows it has gotten me through the darkest times of my life. But I'm not sure that that faith is Catholicism as much as just accepting and trusting that somewhere there is someone responsible for and bigger than everything.

I pray for things that sometimes don't happen, which in hindsight is perfect because I wouldn't have met and married my sweetie if the prayers I said at the time had been granted. Or maybe they were granted the way I meant them but not the way I voiced them in my head. The prayers I've said in recent years (the most important of my life) have been granted exactly as I asked for them. I pray in the bathtub (What? God doesn't care where I'm talking to him from) or in the car but never in a church.

I spent many Sunday mornings with my Grandma and Grandpa at church but it was more to be with them than because I wanted to go to church. We could have been sitting at a McDonald instead of church and I probably would have felt the same way. Maybe whatever faith I do have came to me on those Sundays?

I have a crucifix in my living room that was a gift from my Grandparents and one in our bedroom that was given to us after the death of my father-in-law. I look at them often but not so much as a religious beacon but as part of the memories that mean so much to me.

My oldest son has taken to wearing a rosary as a necklace. It's a beautiful rosary but it kinda bothers me that it's worn as a piece of jewelry than prayed to as it is intended. I don't even know how to say the rosary so why it bothers me I'm not sure. Yeah, I could google it and I'm sure there is some person on YouTube that will explain how to say the prayers associated with the rosary but in my mind it wouldn't make God anymore likely to hear me than if I was sitting at the kitchen table talking to Him.

He hears me anyway.