About a year ago I got an offer from Groupon for a microdermabrasion at a spa more than a little ways away from our home. It was a good deal and my sweetie offered to chauffeur me so I paid for it and promptly moved it to the back burner of my brain.
As I've mentioned in previous posts my first marriage put a few dents and some pretty deep scratches in my self esteem and even though I've completely moved on from that phase of my life when I look in the mirror those leftover scars are still there. I'm mostly able to cover them but every now and then.....
Anyway as the expiration date crept up I figured it would go unused like the many pair of shoes that I HAD TO HAVE (then never wore) or that perfect dress that I bought (then wore once to find it didn't fit perfectly). If it weren't for the MANY reminder emails, that's exactly what would have happened but my husband is not as wasteful as I am so he scheduled the appointment.
I went to the spa, it was pleasant enough but they couldn't do the procedure that I had paid for with my Groupon because my skin type would have broken out like a teenage girl plowing thorough puberty. My body sometimes forgets that I am 40 something and should be WAY past the acne stage of life. Instead the esthetician (fancy word for facial lady) decided I would enjoy an oxygen facial. Basically they forced vitamins into my pores with oxygen. It was nice but what she said next set the stage to start repairing the damage that my self esteem has carried for so long.
She could make my skin smooth (something I haven't seen since I was about 12 years old). SIGN ME UP!! I scheduled a follow up appointment and left. In the car on the hour drive home I cried. Not breath-taking sobs, just a cleansing stream of tears that for anybody that knows me was inevitable.
This past Saturday, which should be mentioned was also my step-brothers wedding day, I went back to the spa for a chemical peel. A drive that should have taken about an hour, took me almost two because I am directionally challenged and can't read a map to save my life. Luckily I gave my self enough time to allow for my several detours and U-turns. I arrived at the spa with 10 minutes to spare. The procedure took about an hour and I left with instructions to leave the chemical on my face about 8 hours then remove it gently with water. Anyone who's been to a wedding knows it can last several hours and the 8 hour mark passed with the chemical still on my face (covered with make up, of course).
I really don't know how long it was left on past the recommended time but my face now looks like I either A. was a guest at Chernobyl or B. was left adrift a raft on the ocean for 3 days. To say it's RED is an understatement and now on the 2nd day since the procedure it is starting to peel (hence the chemical "peel" part of the process).
I'm a flaky, itchy mess. BUT, underneath it I am beautiful. I know that because my husband tells me so, every chance he gets.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
Headaches 101
So thanks to some new laws here in the great state of Florida, my primary care physician AKA Dr. Awesome can no longer write my prescription for the ONLY migraine medicine that works because...wait for it...it contains crack. Okay not really, it does however contain codeine. I tried the kind without the special ingredient for about a month now and my headaches are kicking my ass.
Enter Dr. Ahhmazing. He is a pain management doctor, who is allowed to write prescriptions for medication that work. Suck it law makers!!
Anyway, as it would be a little awkward to stroll into any physicians office and say "I'm only here to get you to write my a prescriptions for the medicine that my other doctor can't." I sat down and answered all 495408 of his questions.
Is the pain sharp, stabbing, dull, one sided, ice pick-like (yes, really)? What makes it better? What makes it worse (besides having to see 2 different doctors to get the medicines that work, I'm not bitter or anything)? How long have you had them? Have you tried this, this, this, this, this, this or this medicine? How about occipital (I know that has something to do with my eyes) INJECTIONS??? Ummm, no thank you!
Here hop up here on this crinkly paper. Squeeze my fingers (soooo not the same as pull my finger!). Push my hands. Then he covers my ears and presses on the space where my skull attaches to my spine. Did I mention he covered my ears? I saw his lips move but don't have a clue what he was asking me. It didn't hurt so I took for granted that the correct answer was no.
We have many options he tells me.
LOOK DR. AHHMAZING, I REALLY JUST WANT YOU TO WRITE ON YOUR LITTLE PAD BLAH, BLAH, BLAH MEDICINE WITH CODEINE.
Apparently that isn't how this particular visit was gonna work.
But hey, he offered Botox. Says it works like a charm on chronic migraines and the side effect of no wrinkles is definitely a bonus but it has to be administered with a SYRINGE. I've looked up every definition of syringe and every one includes a NEEDLE. IN MY FACE!!! I politely declined that option.
We're (and by we're, I mean I) am now taking an anti-seizure medication that's side effect is decreasing headache frequency. Also weight loss, which I am totally okay with.
And I did get a small prescription for the medicine that I originally went there for.
I have a follow up appointment in 4 weeks where we will discuss other options and I will give the verdict on my opinion of how the anti-seizure medicine is working.
Dr. Ahhmazing is super cute so I'm okay with seeing him again as long as he doesn't suggest any treatment that has to be administered by injection IN MY FACE.
Enter Dr. Ahhmazing. He is a pain management doctor, who is allowed to write prescriptions for medication that work. Suck it law makers!!
Anyway, as it would be a little awkward to stroll into any physicians office and say "I'm only here to get you to write my a prescriptions for the medicine that my other doctor can't." I sat down and answered all 495408 of his questions.
Is the pain sharp, stabbing, dull, one sided, ice pick-like (yes, really)? What makes it better? What makes it worse (besides having to see 2 different doctors to get the medicines that work, I'm not bitter or anything)? How long have you had them? Have you tried this, this, this, this, this, this or this medicine? How about occipital (I know that has something to do with my eyes) INJECTIONS??? Ummm, no thank you!
Here hop up here on this crinkly paper. Squeeze my fingers (soooo not the same as pull my finger!). Push my hands. Then he covers my ears and presses on the space where my skull attaches to my spine. Did I mention he covered my ears? I saw his lips move but don't have a clue what he was asking me. It didn't hurt so I took for granted that the correct answer was no.
We have many options he tells me.
LOOK DR. AHHMAZING, I REALLY JUST WANT YOU TO WRITE ON YOUR LITTLE PAD BLAH, BLAH, BLAH MEDICINE WITH CODEINE.
Apparently that isn't how this particular visit was gonna work.
But hey, he offered Botox. Says it works like a charm on chronic migraines and the side effect of no wrinkles is definitely a bonus but it has to be administered with a SYRINGE. I've looked up every definition of syringe and every one includes a NEEDLE. IN MY FACE!!! I politely declined that option.
We're (and by we're, I mean I) am now taking an anti-seizure medication that's side effect is decreasing headache frequency. Also weight loss, which I am totally okay with.
And I did get a small prescription for the medicine that I originally went there for.
I have a follow up appointment in 4 weeks where we will discuss other options and I will give the verdict on my opinion of how the anti-seizure medicine is working.
Dr. Ahhmazing is super cute so I'm okay with seeing him again as long as he doesn't suggest any treatment that has to be administered by injection IN MY FACE.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Beep..Bloop..Buzz
We're having an evolution of sorts here.
Although we are probably that last house on the planet to have a VCR, we do in fact have one. The time on it still flashes 12:00 as vividly as it did 20 years ago. Once upon a time we had a manual that would have instructed us to set it to the correct time but lost in our sea of stuff, it still flashes the beacon announcing that it is eternally 12:00.
It's pretty clear that we are not technology savvy. Shhhh...don't tell that to my sweetie though, he thinks he has all our electronics figured out. It'll be our secret that he sooooo doesn't.
We have laptops. Sort of surround sound DVD players and HD TV's. It's not like we're living in the stone ages. Except for our cell/mobile (what are the kids calling them now?) phones.
We've been carrying state of the art flip phones for several years now. And by state of the art I mean from a toddlers viewpoint. A toddler from 10 years ago...who's point of reference is a Fisher Price plastic phone.
Last week we decided it was time to upgrade. We now have smart phones. Ironically called that because they are MUCH smarter than we are.
Occasionally one will beep or vibrate for some unknown reason. Me sweetie and I look at each phone then back at each other. Kinda like when I brought a tiny newborn home from the hospital and with each new noise I had to diagnosis what I should do next.
I pick up my phone, which honestly is more like a mini tablet (I learned that term from a TV commerical...viewed on my HD TV, pretty advanced huh?). Peer at the screen and secretly wish it would flash with the strength of my VCR clock to tell me why it's beeping, vibrating or generally trying to tell me something. How am I supposed to know which button to push when the buttons are on a touch screen and don't show up until you know which button to push??
I've emptied the box that it came in over and over. No manual! Just a website to watch a tutorial. I've tried watching the tutorial it's like they are describing the use of this phone to a nuclear physicist. Not to a person who can't set the clock on a 20 year old VCR.
I'm sure in the next 5 years or so I'll figure it out but in the mean time if I don't answer when you text or call. Please send smoke signals.
Although we are probably that last house on the planet to have a VCR, we do in fact have one. The time on it still flashes 12:00 as vividly as it did 20 years ago. Once upon a time we had a manual that would have instructed us to set it to the correct time but lost in our sea of stuff, it still flashes the beacon announcing that it is eternally 12:00.
It's pretty clear that we are not technology savvy. Shhhh...don't tell that to my sweetie though, he thinks he has all our electronics figured out. It'll be our secret that he sooooo doesn't.
We have laptops. Sort of surround sound DVD players and HD TV's. It's not like we're living in the stone ages. Except for our cell/mobile (what are the kids calling them now?) phones.
We've been carrying state of the art flip phones for several years now. And by state of the art I mean from a toddlers viewpoint. A toddler from 10 years ago...who's point of reference is a Fisher Price plastic phone.
Last week we decided it was time to upgrade. We now have smart phones. Ironically called that because they are MUCH smarter than we are.
Occasionally one will beep or vibrate for some unknown reason. Me sweetie and I look at each phone then back at each other. Kinda like when I brought a tiny newborn home from the hospital and with each new noise I had to diagnosis what I should do next.
I pick up my phone, which honestly is more like a mini tablet (I learned that term from a TV commerical...viewed on my HD TV, pretty advanced huh?). Peer at the screen and secretly wish it would flash with the strength of my VCR clock to tell me why it's beeping, vibrating or generally trying to tell me something. How am I supposed to know which button to push when the buttons are on a touch screen and don't show up until you know which button to push??
I've emptied the box that it came in over and over. No manual! Just a website to watch a tutorial. I've tried watching the tutorial it's like they are describing the use of this phone to a nuclear physicist. Not to a person who can't set the clock on a 20 year old VCR.
I'm sure in the next 5 years or so I'll figure it out but in the mean time if I don't answer when you text or call. Please send smoke signals.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
If I Was Meant To Have Boobs...God Would Have Given Them To Me
I waited a long time to be visited by the boob fairy and since I'm oh, let just say a couple of decades past puberty I'm not holding my breath any more.
When kids of my generation (geez...that makes me sound OLD) were saving up for concert tickets to Air Supply....wait, maybe only I liked Air Supply. Lets go with....saving up money for leg warmers and Guess acid wash jeans, I was calculating how much I had to make a week at the ice cream shop to save up for a boob job.
As genetics and nature would have it I was painfully skinny as a teenager. My lack of boobage did not go unnoticed by the high school crowd.
Luckily?! Maybe not luckily but somewhat fortunately, as I got older I put on a few..errrr... a couple dozen pounds. It was then that I got what could loosely be referred to as cleavage. The extra weight plus a good bra and I was fairly happy looking in the mirror.
But then I found these totally awesome "sticky" bras on an infomercial that I could order and have delivered straight to my house. HOW AWESOME IS THAT???? I should have paid more attention that the shipping and handling were about 3 times the price of the sticky silicone cups. Live and Learn!
Anyway, I waited and waited and waited, until about 6 weeks later a rectangle shaped box was finally delivered to my mailbox. I ran out to retrieve it before some breast-less neighbor detected what was in the box and could have stolen the answer to my lack of boobage prayers.
After carefulsquishing and sticking placement of my new item, I pranced in front of the mirror to admire what the mailman had given me that nature so cruelly withheld. I gotta say, I was pretty impressed. So I put on a low cut t-shirt and headed out to do some errands.
I was feeling pretty confident that no one knew that most of my endowment was not really mine. UNTIL....I went into the store to pick up a couple 12 packs of on-sale-Pepsi. I didn't really want to chase a shopping cart down in the hot parking lot so I carried my items to the cashier. Then I felt it....I was beginning to sweat and things were slipping. There were several people in front of me (none of who had 20 items or less, by the way) in the express line. One 12 pack in each arm, an extra large bag of M & M's in one hand and my car keys in the other I stood there willing myself to stop sweating.
It was happening....first the left cup slipped...then the right moved slightly. I hugged the 12 packs to my chest but it was too late. The bra was stuck to my belly and threatening to slip out the bottom of my shirt. My face must have looked like I was about to give birth right there on the grimy grocery store floor. I carefully placed my purchases on the belt to be rung up and covertly tried to wriggle my sticky cups to some part of my chest. By then I was no longer sweating...I was SWEATING!!! And there was no sticking ANYTHING to my wet chest. As calmly and discreetly as possible I yanked the silicone bra off my belly and stuffed it in my purse. A purse that was so full of junk that the fleshy colored cups just laid on top gleaming like the jewels on the top of a treasure chest. I paid for my things and nearly ran to the car.
I don't shop there anymore and I also don't buy As Seen On TV items! I do however still, on occasion, wear the silicone cups firmly tucked into a good bra. Where there is a will, there is a way!
When kids of my generation (geez...that makes me sound OLD) were saving up for concert tickets to Air Supply....wait, maybe only I liked Air Supply. Lets go with....saving up money for leg warmers and Guess acid wash jeans, I was calculating how much I had to make a week at the ice cream shop to save up for a boob job.
As genetics and nature would have it I was painfully skinny as a teenager. My lack of boobage did not go unnoticed by the high school crowd.
Luckily?! Maybe not luckily but somewhat fortunately, as I got older I put on a few..errrr... a couple dozen pounds. It was then that I got what could loosely be referred to as cleavage. The extra weight plus a good bra and I was fairly happy looking in the mirror.
But then I found these totally awesome "sticky" bras on an infomercial that I could order and have delivered straight to my house. HOW AWESOME IS THAT???? I should have paid more attention that the shipping and handling were about 3 times the price of the sticky silicone cups. Live and Learn!
Anyway, I waited and waited and waited, until about 6 weeks later a rectangle shaped box was finally delivered to my mailbox. I ran out to retrieve it before some breast-less neighbor detected what was in the box and could have stolen the answer to my lack of boobage prayers.
After careful
I was feeling pretty confident that no one knew that most of my endowment was not really mine. UNTIL....I went into the store to pick up a couple 12 packs of on-sale-Pepsi. I didn't really want to chase a shopping cart down in the hot parking lot so I carried my items to the cashier. Then I felt it....I was beginning to sweat and things were slipping. There were several people in front of me (none of who had 20 items or less, by the way) in the express line. One 12 pack in each arm, an extra large bag of M & M's in one hand and my car keys in the other I stood there willing myself to stop sweating.
It was happening....first the left cup slipped...then the right moved slightly. I hugged the 12 packs to my chest but it was too late. The bra was stuck to my belly and threatening to slip out the bottom of my shirt. My face must have looked like I was about to give birth right there on the grimy grocery store floor. I carefully placed my purchases on the belt to be rung up and covertly tried to wriggle my sticky cups to some part of my chest. By then I was no longer sweating...I was SWEATING!!! And there was no sticking ANYTHING to my wet chest. As calmly and discreetly as possible I yanked the silicone bra off my belly and stuffed it in my purse. A purse that was so full of junk that the fleshy colored cups just laid on top gleaming like the jewels on the top of a treasure chest. I paid for my things and nearly ran to the car.
I don't shop there anymore and I also don't buy As Seen On TV items! I do however still, on occasion, wear the silicone cups firmly tucked into a good bra. Where there is a will, there is a way!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
The Right Decisions
I missed putting words here. I guess I thought I didn't really have anything worth writing. But I do and it clears space in my mind to think of other important things like How my youngest kid is turning 15 in a few short days or How lucky I am that my honey's youngest daughter referred to me as "mama" the other night and my heart hasn't been the same since. Important things!
I started this blog to have somewhere to put my feeling about Her situation.
That seems like a lifetime ago. She has made decisions and choices for her and her family that are far beyond her 24 years since that post so long ago. And she's becoming an amazing woman for it. She knew what was right for her (despite my 2 cents, thankfully) and is continuing to bloom in so many wonderful ways. She just knew!
Earlier today I learned of another young woman who is making choices that while they might not be popular, are right for her. Postponing an event that was creeping up faster than she was prepared for. Because she holds in her heart a million pieces of mine I would support any decision that she made but I am so very proud of her for realizing what is best for her. She is braver than I was at her age. I made choices that felt comfortable and expected but weren't necessarily right for me. I wanted so desperately to dive into the future that I missed out on just being me.
It's taken a lot of years to shake off all the layers of wrong those choices left me with. But what I am left with now is SO right. Love that I only read about in fairy tales, relationships that are healthy and nurturing and people who don't just take up space in my life but enrich it.
My girls? They are strong, independent and more than capable of making the choices that are best for them. It's hard to make decisions that you're afraid other people may not understand or agree with. It's those not so easy options that make me so very proud of both of them.
I started this blog to have somewhere to put my feeling about Her situation.
That seems like a lifetime ago. She has made decisions and choices for her and her family that are far beyond her 24 years since that post so long ago. And she's becoming an amazing woman for it. She knew what was right for her (despite my 2 cents, thankfully) and is continuing to bloom in so many wonderful ways. She just knew!
Earlier today I learned of another young woman who is making choices that while they might not be popular, are right for her. Postponing an event that was creeping up faster than she was prepared for. Because she holds in her heart a million pieces of mine I would support any decision that she made but I am so very proud of her for realizing what is best for her. She is braver than I was at her age. I made choices that felt comfortable and expected but weren't necessarily right for me. I wanted so desperately to dive into the future that I missed out on just being me.
It's taken a lot of years to shake off all the layers of wrong those choices left me with. But what I am left with now is SO right. Love that I only read about in fairy tales, relationships that are healthy and nurturing and people who don't just take up space in my life but enrich it.
My girls? They are strong, independent and more than capable of making the choices that are best for them. It's hard to make decisions that you're afraid other people may not understand or agree with. It's those not so easy options that make me so very proud of both of them.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Finally
I think I've figured out why I can't cook and it clearly is NOT my fault.
I had high hopes of mastering fine cuisine when I was young.
I told every mall Santa for years that I NEEDED an Easy Bake Oven. I circled one in every Sears catalog that I can remember.
I dreamed of those tasty, tiny cakes that I would create, and of course eat.
Okay, full disclosure...I probably would have eaten the batter long before it made it to the cooking ability of that 40 watt light bulb but that's not the point.
The point is that Santa failed me and therefore I can barely boil water.
Then it happened! While strolling through Lowes. What?! Doesn't everyone window shop at home improvement stores?
I talked my husband into this....
Lets recap....plastic? Check!....light bulb? Check!
It's practically a grown up Easy Bake Oven! So there Santa Claus, I'll buy my own damn oven!
The last couple of days at our house have looked like this...
And this...
And Thanksgiving may or may not look like this in a few days....
Thank you Thomas Edison for inventing the light bulb and finally giving me the opportunity to cook like a pro!
I had high hopes of mastering fine cuisine when I was young.
I told every mall Santa for years that I NEEDED an Easy Bake Oven. I circled one in every Sears catalog that I can remember.
 |
| BEHOLD!! The makings of a culinary genius!! |
I dreamed of those tasty, tiny cakes that I would create, and of course eat.
Okay, full disclosure...I probably would have eaten the batter long before it made it to the cooking ability of that 40 watt light bulb but that's not the point.
The point is that Santa failed me and therefore I can barely boil water.
Then it happened! While strolling through Lowes. What?! Doesn't everyone window shop at home improvement stores?
I talked my husband into this....
 |
| Cozy! Yes? |
Lets recap....plastic? Check!....light bulb? Check!
It's practically a grown up Easy Bake Oven! So there Santa Claus, I'll buy my own damn oven!
The last couple of days at our house have looked like this...
 |
| BREAKFAST! |
 |
| DESSERT!! I'm practically the Cake Boss now! |
 |
| Dinner may be just a little late! |
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Observations
Spending the day with Lily today was both amazing and exhausting, mostly amazing though.
And you can learn A LOT about life from a 2 year old.
Like, breakfast tastes a million times better when it's off someone elses plate.
It only took Grandpa (or Papa as she might be calling him) 12 tries to get the car seat fastened. Good thing too cause Plan B was to strap her to the luggage rack on the top of the car. Kidding, kinda.
It's perfectly acceptable to break into dance in the middle of a furniture showroom if an appropriate song starts playing.
When it's time to take a nap, just let it happen.
And you can learn A LOT about life from a 2 year old.
Like, breakfast tastes a million times better when it's off someone elses plate.
Furniture shopping is infinitely more fun with a tiny person.
It only took Grandpa (or Papa as she might be calling him) 12 tries to get the car seat fastened. Good thing too cause Plan B was to strap her to the luggage rack on the top of the car. Kidding, kinda.
It's perfectly acceptable to break into dance in the middle of a furniture showroom if an appropriate song starts playing.
It takes Our Girl approximately 2.5 seconds to turn her blankie upside down to find the tag, stick it in her mouth, and suck on it.
When it's time to take a nap, just let it happen.
And NOBODY makes her Papa happy the way she does. When she looks at him, the look on his face is priceless. She pretty much has him wrapped around her small, syrup covered finger.
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