Friday, March 23, 2012

Headaches 101

So thanks to some new laws here in the great state of Florida, my primary care physician AKA Dr. Awesome can no longer write my prescription for the ONLY migraine medicine that works because...wait for it...it contains crack. Okay not really, it does however contain codeine. I tried the kind without the special ingredient for about a month now and my headaches are kicking my ass.

Enter Dr. Ahhmazing. He is a pain management doctor, who is allowed to write prescriptions for medication that work. Suck it law makers!!

Anyway, as it would be a little awkward to stroll into any physicians office and say "I'm only here to get you to write my a prescriptions for the medicine that my other doctor can't." I sat down and answered all 495408 of his questions.

Is the pain sharp, stabbing, dull, one sided, ice pick-like (yes, really)? What makes it better? What makes it worse (besides having to see 2 different doctors to get the medicines that work, I'm not bitter or anything)? How long have you had them? Have you tried this, this, this, this, this, this or this medicine? How about occipital (I know that has something to do with my eyes) INJECTIONS??? Ummm, no thank you!

Here hop up here on this crinkly paper. Squeeze my fingers (soooo not the same as pull my finger!). Push my hands. Then he covers my ears and presses on the space where my skull attaches to my spine. Did I mention he covered my ears? I saw his lips move but don't have a clue what he was asking me. It didn't hurt so I took for granted that the correct answer was no.

We have many options he tells me.

LOOK DR. AHHMAZING, I REALLY JUST WANT YOU TO WRITE ON YOUR LITTLE PAD BLAH, BLAH, BLAH MEDICINE WITH CODEINE.

Apparently that isn't how this particular visit was gonna work.

But hey, he offered Botox. Says it works like a charm on  chronic migraines and the side effect of no wrinkles is definitely a bonus but it has to be administered with a SYRINGE. I've looked up every definition of syringe and every one includes a NEEDLE. IN MY FACE!!! I politely declined that option.

We're (and by we're, I mean I) am now taking an anti-seizure medication that's side effect is decreasing headache frequency. Also weight loss, which I am totally okay with.

And I did get a small prescription for the medicine that I originally went there for.

I have a follow up appointment in 4 weeks where we will discuss other options and I will give the verdict on my opinion of how the anti-seizure medicine is working.

Dr. Ahhmazing is super cute so I'm okay with seeing him again as long as he doesn't suggest any treatment that has to be administered by injection IN MY FACE.

2 comments:

  1. Ok, this so isn't funny but I laughed off and on through the whole thing. I hope you find some relief soon. Also hope you can run off with Dr. Ahhhhhmazing if you're not married. And maybe even if you are. ;)

    Amy - Hamlet's Mistress
    hamletsmistress.com

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  2. sorry, this isn't a funny post, but I laughed through most of it. But seriously, I hate your situation. You should easily be able to get what you want, what you need.

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